BSG fic: Sinistra (PG-13)

[rose_griffes]

One of the benefits of a non-US based beta reader... fic ready on Thanksgiving! This came from a prompt from daybreak777: Caprica, mist, green.


title: Sinistra
rating: PG-13ish (nothing you wouldn’t see on the show)
characters: Boomer, a Six
spoilers: through 3.06 ‘Torn’
beta-reader: jashyr
word count: less than 900


Gasping for air, it hurt to breathe. She couldn't bring her hands to her face. Cuffs--her hands were manacled to the sides of a tank. She didn't see any blood oozing from her stomach into this gel, her face didn't hurt now from the self-inflicted gunshot wound, but her lungs felt like they were full of needles as she wheezed. They were watching her pant: Shelley Godfrey, or someone like her; another blonde woman, older, blue eyes sharp; and herself, or someone like her. Her first instinct was to tear at her veins with her fingers because she'd rather die than have it be true... but she can't move her hands and she can't die.

- - - - -

Staring at her fingers--palms, backs, wrists. Five fingers on each hand. She counted using the fingers on her right hand:
- Sharon Valerii
- daughter of Abraham
- her best friend from childhood was Lisandra, daughter of another miner
- her mother handed her carved elephants when she left home, for luck
- Sharon had cried for days when she heard of the explosions on Troy

Left hand:
- cylon
- Eight

- - - - -

Six came to see her. (Even now she flinched when she saw other Eights.)

"You knew on some level what you were."

"No." Her own denial sounded weak.

"The earliest sleepers had problems with reintegration, so the programming was changed. Some part of you always knew."

"Why? Why was I activated then?" She tried to keep the anguish out of her voice.

"Due to the changes in programming we can't keep the cylon in place for too long. The data we had showed that you were gaining too much awareness to stay hidden. And the moment was advantageous to us."

Blocking thoughts of the Commander, Sharon wondered what happened to those early sleeper cylons--how had they finally adjusted?

Right hand--Sharon:
- Galen's fingers sliding up her arm, across her lips as she smiled
- Starbuck's cackle when she was winning a hand of Triad
- her ECO's half-hidden glances
- the smell of tylium burning after she landed her raptor
- Adama's proud salute... NO.

Left hand--cylon:
- worried, hopeful stares of other Eights
- flashes of images against the gray basestar walls

- - - - -

"Are you the same Six that was here yesterday?"

"Why does it matter? We know all about you, Sharon."

She didn't answer. Her hands were on her knees; she stared at them.

"Projection is what we use to move through the ship and to center ourselves. We use something neutral yet aesthetically pleasing, and underlay it with the schematics of this ship... which you should be able to access." The tone was condescending.

"But why do it?"

"Wouldn't you rather see something besides these gray walls?" The Six took Sharon's right hand and placed their palms together. "I'll guide you through it." A shimmer, then a flash of green--she could see a lush forest, mists hovering at the edge of her line of sight.

"This is a forest on Caprica. One of our sisters shared this memory. If you project this and use the ship interface, you'll be able to find your way as you move through the ship."

Sharon knew she'd been on Caprica--she was fairly certain that her first real experiences as Sharon happened there. No excursions into forests back then--just city and Academy life. She remembered the short scrubby trees on Troy--but that wasn't real.

When she tried projecting by herself, she chose the place where she felt most connected, where her experiences were her own. She didn't know if the others were aware that she projected the Galactica or just figured something was wrong when she still got lost and walked into a wall.

- - - - -

Six kept a sharp grasp on her elbow as she led Sharon into the control room of the basestar. She tried protesting: "I'm not ready for this yet."

Six was unfazed. "It's time." She pulled her over to the console and placed Sharon's hands in the clear liquid. It was cool to the touch. She gasped when the data began to flow into her mind--flashes of Eights' other lives, other places and goals. Pulling her hands free, she knelt on the floor and vomited.

Infected--foreign memories were swimming around inside, like a virus. She started having trouble connecting to the parts of herself she knew as Sharon; she held onto them tightly, fearful of losing what she knew of herself.

Boomer:
- pilot
- abandoned lover

Machine:
- programmed
- murderer

- - - - -

The heavy raider took them into atmosphere--yellow-brown skies smeared with dirty gray clouds. She identified where cities were by the blast patterns. As they approached Caprica City Sharon saw forests--but they weren't green. The trees were skeletons stripped of leaves. Barren. This was what the cylons had made. Eights and Sixes and Threes, they had all helped create this devastation.

This empty desolation wasn't her doing. When they landed she walked away from the others, into the heart of the city.

Her fingers found the key she'd hidden in the potted plant by the door.

S. Valerii-- Apartment 502.

Comments

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

Ah, projection and green. I do have a fascination with this. This image almost made me dizzy:
A shimmer, then a flash of green--she could see a lush forest, mists hovering at the edge of her line of sight.

I will have to think more on this fic and come back to give more feedback. There is a lot here. Preliminarily, I can say you captured the feeling of disorientation from downloading and projection well. And I love the images from the gel. I was curious about how that stuff worked.

Oh, and you had Caprica Six and Caprica the planet! Thank you. At least I think it was Caprica Six. See, this fic makes me as confused as Sharon. Good job. :-)

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's funny to me that I ended up writing Boomer, since I really don't think about her a lot. Part of the fun of getting prompts. *g*

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

I'm back! The only thing I'd add upon reread is that I really like your use of color in the fic. The lush green vs. the yellow brown skies of Caprica. The setting was laid out so clearly, I could really see it.

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like this. The imagery is great.

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

[lunar47.livejournal.com]

definitely very interesting. I'm glad that I read it. I liked her weighing of cylon vs. human memories/qualities and her need to cling to her human memories (projecting galactica). I was surprised that a Six would be her guide after resurrecting instead of another eight (or did that really happen in an episode and I've just forgotten since it's been a while since I've seen those eps) Anyways, very well done.

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

Thanks for letting me know you liked it!

I was surprised that a Six would be her guide after resurrecting instead of another eight (or did that really happen in an episode and I've just forgotten since it's been a while since I've seen those eps)

In 'Downloaded' there's a Three, a Six and an Eight by her tank when Boomer first resurrects. Then the episode skips ahead to Boomer back on Caprica, so this fic was meant to fill in the blanks. At one point Boomer says to Caprica Six that the Sixes are usually "so hardcore," which is part of what inspired this fic--I wanted to see a 'hardcore' Six trying to force her to reintegrate.

[lunar47.livejournal.com]

oh I forgot to ask you what the title means

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

It's Latin, it means 'of the left hand.' Part of my language nerdiness, heh. (It's also the root word for sinister--poor lefties just have it tough.)

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

At one point Boomer says to Caprica Six that the Sixes are usually "so hardcore," which is part of what inspired this fic
Heh, I love that line. One more comment and then I'll shut up. *g* I like when she asks if it's the same Six she'd already talked to, and it doesn't matter to them but it completely *would* to Boomer, who's so afraid by the end of losing the Sharon part of herself. It's no wonder she'll eventually warm up to a Six who isn't exactly like the other ones. :)

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can't imagine how it would be, to be surrounded by just a small number of personality types and faces all the time. (And all those hard-core sixes, eek!)

[demonqueen666.livejournal.com]

She didn't know if the others were aware that she projected the Galactica or just figured something was wrong when she still got lost and walked into a wall.

That's...funny and so painful at the same time.

I really liked this. Cylon psychology is a fun and confusing place to delve, and I enjoyed your take on it. As the other commenters have said, you have some very good imagery in here.

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

I'm so pleased that you liked it.

That's...funny and so painful at the same time.
Heh, I'm glad that line worked for you... because that's definitely what I wanted the reader to feel.

As for cylon psychology, you should check out this fic (http://community.livejournal.com/bsg_hiatusthon/2776.html) over at the bsg_hiatusthon. It has Simon and a Six on Caprica, set during 'The Farm.'

[siljamus]

This is a very interesting (and slightly disturbing) look at Boomer. I like the structure of the piece a lot; it's very effective, especially the repetitive use of the imagery of how she holds onto and separates her two sides.

Thank you for sharing.

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I find the cylons hard to write, so I'm glad this piece worked for you.

[siljamus]

I think Cylons need to be hard to write on some level. They may look like humans and have the ability to mimic human behaviour but they really are nothing like humans. That aspect comes across very well in this story (as it does in some of your other stories).

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

*flails* I LOVE this. I think you did a great job with the Cylon world and very believably filled in what we didn't see between Boomer resurrecting and holing up in her apartment. The hand imagery is a great touch. I also love the projection part (partially because I have an unholy affection for Six's forest, like so much) and Boomer imagining Galactica but not quite wired in with the rest of them.

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you!

...believably filled in what we didn't see between Boomer resurrecting and holing up in her apartment
Heh, it's surprising to me what comes out of my brain when I actually start thinking about less-used characters. (I really didn't spend a lot of time thinking about Boomer before this.) Now what I really want to know is what changed after that--from the 'Love All The Humans (To Death)' movement, to her contemplating killing Hera... was it New Caprica or did other stuff happen to make Boomer reject humanity?

The idea that the 'sleeper' programming has such a lasting impact, even after downloading, is interesting.

I have an unholy affection for Six's forest, like so much
Projection is just fascinating to me. I'd imagine the other Sixes were proud to use Caprica Six's memories. Being me, I want to know what Leoben projects. *g* (well, besides streams, of course)

[projectjulie.livejournal.com]

ohhhhhhhh Cylons! Downloaded backstory is one of my favorite BSG fic genres, and all too rare. this is heartbreaking and thought provoking. I'll put it on the femslash masterlist, for the Boomer/Six focus.

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the comment, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love it when writing fic helps me understand characters better, and this definitely did.

I'll put it on the femslash masterlist, for the Boomer/Six focus.
Heh, that's amusing, considering how gen I write. Link away.

[danniisupernova.livejournal.com]

Wooo <3's Boomer fic.

I love the way you've expanded on her "death". It's almost as if she's been killed and she (in her head) is like "But I was done! It was over!" and her new Cylon self is like "Yes, but for us life goes on." Very haunting and sad.

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

It's almost as if she's been killed and she (in her head) is like "But I was done! It was over!" and her new Cylon self is like "Yes, but for us life goes on."

Yeah, that whole experience would be so disconcerting.

[millari.livejournal.com]

Sorry I'm only just finding this now. But this was riveting. Right from the title. Like everyone else, I loved the right hand left hand imagery going on in here, and the way it feeds into Boomer's need to keep a balance between her "fake" identity and her "real" one. I also liked, incidentally, your take on why she was activated when she was, and the idea that it wasn't just a ticking time bomb, that they were watching her the whole time - which of course they could do, and you know, probably were. That makes me wonder what the conversations were when she was doing things to resist it - like when she fights her programming to alert Galactica about Kobol.

I think one of the most striking scenes for me was when the Six forces her into the control room and she vomits after receiving the datastream for the first time. Very believable reaction. And it really seems an utterly canon way to explain how Sharon got to where we see her on Cylon-occupied Caprica. Oh, and I loved the touch with the elephants. I'd forgotten about that!

Very well done!

I need to get a Boomer icon. I like her too much to not have one. ;)

[rose-griffes.livejournal.com]

Thanks for letting me know you liked this!

I also liked, incidentally, your take on why she was activated when she was, and the idea that it wasn't just a ticking time bomb, that they were watching her the whole time - which of course they could do, and you know, probably were.

This aspect of her actions piques my curiosity (why she shot Adama at that time), so I wrote what I would hope is true. After all, the cylons are supposed to have a plan, right? *sigh*

Huh, I don't have a Boomer icon either. I need more icon space.